New drugs

Oh, thank God.

I'm back on the upswing, I think. The last week has been absolutely hellish. It's amazing the number of reasons your brain can manufacture to tell you you should be suicidal when things are actually going okay. Awake and in dreams, that mess doesn't let up. God, what I'd give to be normal. Well, normal-er. Anyway, I think I'm through the dangerous part for the time being, at least til November/December, which is usually another bad time. Man, they really need better, CHEAPER drugs for this shit.

Ultradian cycling: not exactly the cardio it sounds like.

Up feels like this:



20 minutes to 2 hours later (if I'm lucky), DOWN feels like this:



If lucky, I get a short respite of this:



Then... lather, rinse, repeat!

I'm losing my mind.