It's not something social!

So I've had nine blood tests, an MRI, 2 docs so far, and they still can't tell me what the deal is with my blind spot. Might be a B-12 thing, might be....anything, really. The best part? No matter the cause, they can't fix it. It may get better, worse, go away, or never go away... nobody knows. Modern frickin' medicine. Sheesh.

Put the lime in the coconut, then you'll feel better

Ya know, I can go five years without seeing a doc, and then everything comes down at once. ALL I WANTED was new contacts, and now I find out that a weird blind spot in your vision can mean anything from a viral infection to syphilis to multiple sclerosis to cancer. Yay! I get nine blood tests, a vomitously expensive MRI tomorrow night, and possibly a spinal tap. The neuro yesterday cost 50 bucks, was sooooo snippy, and didn't tell me a damn thing I didn't know from Googling over the weekend. (When will I get a job that pays me just to do research? I'm good at it). I am wigging out, with fear of the results, worry about the money, you name it. No biggie, it's most likely one of the stupid reasons like a B-12 deficiency, but I can't help being scared. I'll let y'all know. Well, unless it's syphilis- it's bad enough having the neuro say, "Well, it's not like you're a virgin, are you?" (Judgey, much?) and my brother faking 18th-century-British-gentlemens' accents and offering to watch "This is Spinal Tap" with me without you goofballs laughing ("Syphilis? What? Nobody's had that since Al Capone! Did she date a geriatric?" etc). Gah. I wish I'd just get squashed by a bus already- it's cheaper.

I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take...

You know that feeling like when you've had a toothache for so long you don't remember what it feels like not to have it, and then it stops and you're like, "Oh my God, it's so... quiet." That's basically where I am. Weird, shocking... but such a relief.