Thanksgiving, woo!

Short morning at work, Monty Python on the Beeb, wings-n-beer with my brother, only two more weeks 'til my birthday. Not so bad.

Can I buy you a fish sandwich?

You know what I despise about finding out for sure I'm mentally off? It was bad enough to spend first half of my life "gifted" and the second half "crazy," but now I'm terrified I might not ever get better. I'm horribly upset 'cause the generic meds aren't working at all ($5 copay vs $100 for brand), and the contrast between feeling almost normal a few weeks ago and this terrible now is awful, insulting, like poking the kid in the Special Helmet with a pointy stick. I see the doc Monday, but in the meantime, I can't make it through a full day at work, hate everything and almost everyone, and am constantly... well.... I know what I think and feel minute-to-minute, but I can't tell what's really me and what's the meds. I am sick of feeling like this when I have people who need me to be at least vaguely normal.

On a funnier, even weirder note, I'm getting hit on a lot lately- like, five propositions this week. It's mad flattering, considering I have 30 more lbs to lose to get back to my fighting weight, but kinda infuriating 'cause I feel so bad and apparently look pretty nice. Men are bizarre.

hOpe?

Watching election results, wishing I were in Grant Park, drinking a beer- and believe you me, shaking hands are no fun when it comes to CDB in cans. Of course Florida hasn't been called yet (again?!?), (and I'm dying to know the results on Prop 2) but the big towns are all blue so far.... I'm wishin' and hopin'. And golly, isn't Keith Olbermann a cutie?

she's lost control again

Wow. Complete meltdown this morning. The meds are helpful, but having a level-er head gets you thinking too much sometimes. Halloween was good- talked with my shrink, went to a party- but the rest of the weekend has been eh. Without a project to work on I had too much time to squirrel. So now I'm making a new pair of running pants. Exciting life, huh?